Friday, June 5, 2015

Space The Final Frontier ala Star Trek

Airlines have over committed towards supplying seats for its aircraft. ANA first ventured with eight across seating on its 787-8, 186 seat aircraft. Then comes to Jet Star (Qantas) 335 seat 787-8. "Whoa they can do that with the 787-8?". Space is the final frontier I guess, so beam me into one space for eight to twelve hours, and see if I can re-materialize without bodily harm. The airlines won't back off of revenue units in the twin aisle category.

The Arab states can play with space like its coming out of the ground in a profusion of oil. Give them 42 inches front to back and a other 22 inches for elbows. Stuff it with amenities and call it luxuriant. The 777-300 ER is going through a scavenger hunt for more seat space by shrinking the  bathroom.

The mile high club has vigorously protested the bathroom shrinkage. How can they make time in a real water closet 5 miles up? Its just for making space for 14 more seats on the 777-300, before it transitions into an X rated aircraft called a dash  8-X or dash 9-X! Its own standard 777 configuration will go from 386 seats to 400 seats within its same 777-300  frame allotment. Just because the mile high club lost its bathroom lease, until the 9-X says, "climb aboard mate" they will have to make other provisions for membership.

The idea is now afoot, how do you stand/sit people in a smallest pitch possible before cluster phobia wrecks havoc on the passengers on board? I have given this "considerable thought" and have come up with well, a solution of sorts. I got my inspiration from a recent MRI test taken in a tube with its 6 inches of pitch from the tip of my nose to the MRI wall. Xanax was added with the music and a cool stream of air washed across my face. I was in another world for 30 minutes. When I landed (on the floor) it was all over. Mission accomplish, my brain is okay and it cost only $2,000 dollars.

Why can't they do something like that for air travel. Why tease us with windows and seat trays for spreading food onto the floor. Just put all people into a smaller tube in a allocated 24" cylinder. Just walk into a row with the cylinder open, sit/stand into it, and slam the door. Air, food and amenities are in the cylinder. Movies project to you in a 3-D world. You are in the final frontier of limited space. What if you have to go? No worries mate I'm working on that with NASA. You will never have to leave your seat until landing. Nitrous oxide will fill the cylinder space. Can't stop laughing? No problem don't start laughing, problem solved.

By now maybe you think I bought the farm of insanity. However, I've got my inspiration from Star Trek and its suspended animation chambers on the Enterprise, its TV after-all. Why stop with 335 seats with Jet Star having the smallest 787, the dash eight. The final frontier has been reached and only takes six hours of sitting/standing while the seat forward of your position headrest's , is inches from your nose. Retaliation is complete when you recline your seat with its allotted 3 degrees back into your final frontier space allocation. Its really problematic when get to the last row. There is no one behind you to irritate and no final frontier to explore. The bathroom has your back. It doubles as a phone booth for those 14 extra seats sake.